Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma. Thatโs right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce. I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.
Conan O'BrienThe White House says they will release the Osama bin Laden death photo. Better yet, they're doing it on a set of limited edition commemorative plates.
Conan O'BrienIn the Year 2000 the discovery of extraterrestrial life will create a revolution in science, art, and pornography.
Conan O'BrienScientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown.
Conan O'BrienNorth Korea conducted a nuclear test and the blast was so small that many scientists are saying it was a dud. Apparently, the nuclear bomb didn't work well because it was made in Korea.
Conan O'Brien