Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma. That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce. I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.

Promoting his new book, President Bush visited the headquarters of Facebook. Unfortunately, he spent the whole visit on Farmville, clearing brush.

'Shrek 2' made over $120 million during its first week. In a related story, John Kerry asked Shrek to marry him.

A new poll shows that Tiger Woods' popularity has dropped from 85 percent to 33 percent. President Obama's popularity is also at 33 percent, but Tiger had more fun getting there.

It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.

The Olive Garden is bringing back its 'Pasta Pass,' which lets you eat as much pasta as you want for seven weeks. In a related story, Chris Christie just suspended his campaign.

Jeb Bush admitted that he smoked a notable amount of pot in school. He said, 'You would too if your parents had named you 'Jeb.'