Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race. When asked what went wrong, Perry said, I guess America is not ready to elect a dumb guy from Texas. But in time.

Olympic officials have disqualified a champion race walker after determining that he was doping. They disqualified him. The man said getting caught doping is almost as embarrassing as getting caught being a champion race walker.

President Obama has decided that he wants his presidential library to be in Chicago, not Hawaii. Today Hawaii's governor said, 'Great, who's going to want to come to Hawaii now?'

Mitt Romney is saying his comments about liking to fire people were taken out of context. Yeah, what he actually said was he likes to set poor people on fire.

This is really hard to do but I'd like to change the tone now and briefly mention today's terrible tragedy in France. Twelve people were killed because a satirical newspaper made jokes that some group found offensive. All of us are accustomed to bad news from around the world. But this story hits home for anybody who mocks anyone.

The Olympics are getting mixed reviews. People are angry at NBC for showing a promo that revealed the winner of a swimming event even though the race hadn't aired yet. NBC apologized saying, 'We're just not used to people watching our network.'

I have an abacus at home.