Texas Senator Ted Cruz said if elected president he would abolish the Department of Education. But not to worry. He promised to replace it with the less expensive Bureau of Book Learning.

A woman on a Southwest Airlines flight gave birth to a baby. As soon as he was born, the baby said, 'I had more leg room in the womb.'

Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning.

For the first time American astronauts on the International Space Station ate vegetables grown in space. In other words, even space is getting more rain than California.

It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.

Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.

This is official today. China has surpassed the U.S. and now has the No. 1 economy in the world. After hearing this, China's children asked, 'So now can we take a lunch break?'