Spread your hate. It'll last a lifetime.

It's now come out just before his record-breaking 100-meter dash, gold medalist Usain Bolt ate at McDonald's. Apparently he timed his meal so when the race started he would have exactly 9.63 seconds to get to a toilet.

Chris Christie said he will top Donald Trump's Iowa State Fair helicopter entrance by riding in on a pony. As a result, all the ponies in Iowa have gone into hiding.

Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown.

Herman Cain has moved ahead of Mitt Romney. Can you believe that? Political analysts say this is because Americans don't understand Mormonism but they do understand pizza.

In an interview, Hillary Clinton said she likes nearly every flavor of ice cream. When he heard this, Chris Christie said 'Hey, she stole my speech.'

In Texas a high school student was arrested for bringing what authorities thought was a bomb to school but turned out to be a clock. Now the kid is in bigger trouble for carrying a device that could bring Texas into the future.