Don't be cynical; it leads nowhere. If you work hard, and are kind, amazing things will happen to you.
Conan O'BrienPresident Obama made a big speech. He welcomed the members of the U.N. General Assembly to New York, and he said, 'I'd like to encourage you to do some shopping while you're here.' I think it worked because China immediately bought eight banks, two car companies, and the state of Wyoming.
Conan O'BrienMexico's No. 1 drug lord has escaped from prison and may be headed to the U.S. So Donald Trump was wrong. They ARE sending us their best.
Conan O'Brien