During the Democratic presidential debate Howard Dean started off by apologizing to the crowd for having a cold. Then John Kerry apologized for once having a cold while serving his country in Vietnam.

CNN’s Rick Sanchez said the Jews run CNN. Ah, so that’s who we blame for Rick Sanchez.

A comic book publisher says he's trying to increase voter turnout in the presidential election by publishing comic books about John McCain and Barack Obama. Yeah, the publisher said that the election comic books are targeted at first-time voters and long-time virgins.

People looking into Barack Obama's campaign contributions say that Obama may have received $3.3 million from abroad. Yeah. It turns out that broad is Oprah Winfrey.

The Enron scandal continues. The U.S. Senate has announced they are going to subpoena Ken Lay and make him testify. Apparently Lay received the subpoena this morning and then, out of habit, immediately shredded it.

Donald Trump unveiled his immigration policy and now he's getting a lot of flak. His policy would have prevented his own grandfather from coming to America. That explains his new campaign slogan: 'Vote Trump to prevent another Trump.'

Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here's the bad news. You just wasted it listening to this joke.