The man who believes that the secrets of the world are forever hidden lives in mystery and fear. Superstition will drag him down." -The Judge

How does a man decide in what order to abandon his life?

For things at a common destination there is a common path. Not always easy to see. But there.

Only that man who has offered up himself entire to the blood of war, who has been to the floor of the pit and seen the horror in the round and learned at last that it speaks to his inmost heart, only that man can dance. - The judge

Maybe it's like Mac says. Ever man winds up with the horse that suits him.

What he could bear in the waking world he could not by night and he sat awake for fear the dream would return.

Suttree stood among the screaming leaves and called the lightning down. It cracked and boomed about and he pointed out the darkened heart within him and cried for light. If there be any art in the weathers of this earth. Or char these bones to coal. If you can, if you can. A blackened rag in the rain.