I would like to say in defense of the Christian religion that there are nice things about it. There really are. And Marilyn can tear up the Bible all he wants and I understand why, but... there's good things in the Bible. Good things. Like about, you know, not killing people, and... you know... not sleeping with people's husbands.

I do wish I ruled the world, I think it'd be a better place.

I need the gays at the shows. If I don't have the gays, I just go nuts, because they always know every word and they're the best core audience you can have.

I'm covered with loser dust.

I'm a survivor, at least that's what everyone tells me.

I get nervous about press and about being rejected or disappointing myself.

I think Andy Kaufman is to comedy what the Velvet Underground was to music - it's like, 80 thousand records sold, but everybody who bought one started a band.