I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby.

I've been able to sleep with my eyes open ever since I started watching baseball." "Drinking is such a necessity to human life that people cannot fathom an individual who, like a child confined to a church pew, gets little enjoyment out of it and would rather do other things.

I imagine that the intelligent people are the ones so intelligent that they don't even need or want to look 'intelligent' anymore.

You are evidence of your mother's strength, especially if you are a rebellious knucklehead and regardless she has always maintained her sanity.

The devil's happy when the critics run you off.

In the fashion industry, everything goes retro except the prices.

Popular culture is a place where pity is called compassion, flattery is called love, propaganda is called knowledge, tension is called peace, gossip is called news, and auto-tune is called singing.