Happiness is when you see your husband's old girlfriend and she's fatter than you.
Our children are the only possessions we can take to heaven.
The trouble with good advice is that it usually interferes with our plans.
It seems that more people today have a greater desire to live long than they do to live well.
A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future.
When a man marries a woman, they become one-the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.