Damien Lemon Quotes

I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It gets in the way of Black History Month. Cupid didn't free any slaves.

What I've learned is that love is made up of three ingredients: consideration, spontaneity, and [whispers] oral sex for guys and women.

I always say this: If you a dude texts you after 2 a.m. and you reply, then you will never get called at 8 p.m. He won't take you serious.

Love is to be cherished because you're lucky to feel it even once in your life.

If you had a man when I was your friend and then we started hooking up and you broke up with your boyfriend, so now we're together and you have a new male friend? I'm going to look at you sideways because your character's horrible and now I'm thinking you're going to do to me what you did to your ex.