Until Sammy Baugh - pro football in Texas was a one-paragraph story on the third page of the Monday sports section.

Juanita found herself at Old Jeemy's radio station in a room she could have sworn was a laboratory where creatures with antennas in their heads, knobs for eyes, jagged arms, and dangly legs conducted experiments on the bodies of dead vocalists.

Only two things can stop Tiger — injury or a bad marriage.

Many Americans follow pro basketball from November through June, for reasons that I found unexplainable, other than the fact that they were overly fascinated with soaring armpits.

The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the act of putting.

Baseball would be a better game if more third basemen got hit in the mouth by line drivers.

The golfer has more enemies than any other athlete. He has fourteen clubs in his bag, all of them different; 18 holoes to play, all of them different, every week; and all around him is sand, trees, grass, water, wind and 143 other players. In addition, the game is 50 percent mental, so his biggest enemy is himself.