The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the act of putting.

There have been so many great moments in golf that you even forget some of them.

In a story, you have to have a theme and an angle, you have to have a beginning, middle and an end. You have to have a defining moment and kick it to death. You gotta be able to recognize that, by the way. It probably takes experience.

I had always suspected that trying to play golf in the company of big-time pros and a gallery would be something like walking naked into choir practice.

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down a fairly small area indoors and stuff the ball into a ring with Madonna's dress hanging on it.

The golfer has more enemies than any other athlete. He has fourteen clubs in his bag, all of them different; 18 holoes to play, all of them different, every week; and all around him is sand, trees, grass, water, wind and 143 other players. In addition, the game is 50 percent mental, so his biggest enemy is himself.