I have seen the future and it's like the present, only longer.

A manager uses a relief pitcher like a six shooter, he fires until it's empty then takes the gun and throws it at the villain.

Someone told me just recently that poets are eulogists. It's their job, to eulogize. I didn't know that, but it makes sense. Because in almost every poem of mine there is a loss.

I don't mean to diminish the job, it's a good job and a real pressure job. But I don't think a relief pitcher should ever be the most valuable player of a league. We only play in maybe half of the games. Being a relief pitcher means part-time employment. We're bench players, and bench players shouldn't be M.V.P.

They're (California Angels) like the American League All-Star team, and that's their problem, the American League All-Star team always loses.

When I came over here (the National League), I always heard it was a stronger league, with amphetamines all over the clubhouse, but all I found was Michelob Dry.

Preschoolers have a way of grabbing your attention. Mine help me not to be a baseball player at home.