I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.

Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word 'mandatory' means that if you don't show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.

No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.

It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety.

For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.

How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?

Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket," she said. "There's no reason to share it with me.