It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are ridiculous.

There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matter if you keep them secret.

I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.

Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.

Blank paper has always inspired me.

The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don’t know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.

Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you're kidding.