You'd think that sweet would be a land far, far away from irritating, but as it turns out they're right next door, and always having border disputes.

For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely.

They say that when you’re really in love, the world becomes gossamer and gorgeous, but in my experience the world gets grimy, and the love object is in stark relief from the surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street.

The only thing he cares about.

Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.

I was so grateful that Lemony Snicket wasn't the worst movie ever made that I overlooked many things that might have otherwise upset me.

There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.