You should take more pride in your appearance,” I tell him. “You'll never attract girls with an ugly mug like that.

There are a lot of black-hearted, mean-spirited bastards in the world. It's important that we hold them to acount. But always remember that you might be the most black-hearted and mean-spirited in the lot, so hold yourself the most accountable of all.

The thing about real life is, when you do something stupid, it normally costs you.

He says every story has at least some truth in it, even if most are made up.

Ever hear of the phrase, Banging you're head on a brick wall?" Ah, but you forget, Darren, vampires can break brick walls with their heads.

Quick! Head for the ground floor! We have to get out! We will die if we stay! The vampires are here!" "Haven't you got a hug for me, Larten, old buddy?

I always knew there was power in the earth, but it must be much stronger than I imagined to resist such a relentless foe, day after day, night after night, year after year.