I learned that money's not happiness. The more famous I am and the more money I make, the closer I stay to my family and friends that I've known since junior high school. True happiness to me is the connection with fellow human beings I've known for a long time.

And I come from a small Vietnamese family. We're really close too, all ten of us.

Us Asians look like we're twenty until we're fifty. Once we're fifty, we look like Yoda.

Vietnam, we take over by doing pedicure! That's how we take over. We take over one foot at a time, damn it - that's the plan of attack right there. We take over from the toe up, that's the plan. We spread over USA like fungus from the toe.

I was doing gigs to stay alive. I worked two or three jobs at a time, there were times when I stayed up for 36 hours straight. I slept in shopping mall parking lots. A stand-up gig paid $35; then I could eat for another few days until the next gig. Literally, I was performing to live.

I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school... who failed math.

It's a constant battle between what your heart tells you, and what your brain tells you.