Do not be critics, you people, I beg you. I was a critic and I wish I could take it all back because it came from a smelly and ignorant place in me, and spoke with a voice that was all rage and envy. Do not dismiss a book until you have written one, and do not dismiss a movie until you have made one, and do not dismiss a person until you have met them. It is a f@*$%load of work to be open-minded and generous and understanding and forgiving and accepting, but Christ, that is what matters. What matters is saying yes.

But I'm thinking about 12 things at once, a hundred thousand times a day. Most people do, I would imagine.

It all meant something. Until it didn't.

Because I grew up with this naive expectation of people doing right, I get shocked by every little violation.

How had this happened? Everyone in the world knew more than us, about everything, and this I hated then found hugely comforting.

But while mum and dad were incredibly caring, it was also a very chaotic household where everyone fought about everything. So I know what it's like to internalize all that chaos.

Loneliness is just a thing that I'm not personally interested in. So far, it hasn't been on my docket of things to write about.