Laughter is a unique medicine that places your problems in perspective, relaxes your tense muscles, reassures those around you, and helps you to enjoy life even when you don't have everything you want. A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.

We can look forward to four more years of wonderful, inspirational speeches full of wit, poetry, music, love and affection, plus more goddamn nonsense.

I'm not a very good advertisement for the American school system.

The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were.

Numerous politicians have seized absolute power and muzzled the press. Never in history has the press seized absolute power and muzzled the politicians.

This is the first convention of the space age - where a candidate can promise the moon and mean it.

Nobody in TV makes as much money as Robert Redford, who likes to make movies for several million dollars only on the condition that they contain some sort of social message. I cannot take very seriously a social message delivered by an actor who is paid nine million dollars to deliver it, and who charges you five dollars to see it.