Numerous politicians have seized absolute power and muzzled the press. Never in history has the press seized absolute power and muzzled the politicians.

People have the illusion that all over the world, all the time, all kinds of fantastic things are happening. When in fact, over most of the world, most of the time, nothing is happening.

Washington is a pool of money surrounded by people who want some.

The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were.

We can look forward to four more years of wonderful, inspirational speeches full of wit, poetry, music, love and affection, plus more goddamn nonsense.

I'm not a very good advertisement for the American school system.

Laughter is a unique medicine that places your problems in perspective, relaxes your tense muscles, reassures those around you, and helps you to enjoy life even when you don't have everything you want. A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.