The way you talk about yourself and your life-your story-has a great deal to do with what shows up in your day-to-day experience. Your thoughts create filters through which you view your life. If you think of yourself as a Victim, you filter all that happens to you through the lens of DDT, and you find plenty of evidence to support that viewpoint. That's why the orientation you adopt is so important: it exerts a powerful influence on your life direction.

Persecutors fear loss of control. Rescuers fear loss of purpose. Rescuers need Victims-someone to protect or fix-to bolster their self-esteem.

Victims may be defensive, submissive, over-accommodating to others, passive-aggressive in conflict, dependent on others for self-worth, overly sensitive, even manipulative. They're often angry, resentful, and envious, feeling unworthy or ashamed about their circumstances. Have you ever felt or acted this way?

All victims have experienced a loss-a thwarted desire or aspiration-even if they're not aware of it.

Every Victim requires a Persecutor. But the Persecutor isn't always necessarily a person. The Persecutor could also be a condition or a circumstance. A persecuting condition might be a disease or a heart attack, or an injury. A persecuting circumstance could be a natural disaster, like a hurricane or an earthquake or a house burning down.

A Rescuer isn't always a person. Addictions to alcohol or drugs, sexual addiction, workaholism-all the ways we numb out-can rescue the Victim from feeling his or her own feelings.

Frozen in fear, you avoid responsibility because you think your experience is beyond your control. This stance keeps you from making decisions, solving problems, or going after what you want in life.