instead i head to the computer and it's like i turn into a little girl who's just seen her first rainbow. i get all giddy and nervous and hopeful and despairing and i tell myself not to look obsessively at my buddy list, but it might as well be projected onto the insides of my eyelids. at 8:05 his name pops up, and i start to count. i only get to twelve before his IM pops up.

She has been hanging on to the hope of him for so long that she doesn't realize there isn't anything left to hope for.

All this hoping for something- or someone- that's maybe hopeless. I'm having a hard time processing what I am supposed to believe, or if I'm even supposed to. There is too much information, and I don't like a lot of it.

I say good-bye to hope, but I also say good-bye to hope's disappointment.

If we actually thought about every decision we made, we'd be paralyzed ... You have to decide which decisions you're actually going to make, and then you have to let the rest of them go.

this blue shirt i have is practically the same color as my jeans, and looking all-blue is something only cookie monster can pull off.

But whether or not you are here, you are here—because these words are for you, and they wouldn't exist if you weren't here in some way.