Ted is smart and good-looking, but he doesn't use it to good effect, like a rich person that never gives to charity.

i have to cross the river of extreme awkwardness in order to get to the paradise on the other side.

The older you get, the wiser you are - this is true. But you also question what use this wisdom is.y

You know there's no such thing as a complete lie. There's always some truth in there.

I want to take back the secrets I told you so I can decide now whether to tell them to you again. I want to take back the piece of me that lies in you, to see if I truly miss it. I want to take back at least half the “I love you”s, because it feels safer that way.

tiny: did someone die? me: yeah, i did. he smiles again at that. tiny: well, then... welcome to the afterlife.

Now when I have to remember a date, all I have to do is consult my rap sheet.