If you let the world in, you open yourself up to the world. Even if the world doesn't know that you're there.

I only have eyes for you.

I should talk to him I know I should talk to him. But I do not talk to him. I watch after him from afar and love him.

It felt good to be surrounded by books, by all this solid knowledge, by these objects that could be ripped page by page but couldn't be torn if the pages all held together.

I text tiny a minute later. MADE NEW GAY FRIEND. And he texts back PROGRESS!!!

Deep breaths. I am taking deep breaths. Composure. Which, for me, means composing... Maybe this is my way of creating the illusion of control over something I have no control over. Like, if it's just a story I'm telling or a song I'm singing, then I'll be okay because I'm the guy who's providing the words.

There are times when I worry that I've already lost myself. That is, that my self is so inseparable from being with you that if we were to separate, I would no longer be. I save this thought for when I feel the darkest discontent. I never meant to depend so much on someone else.