What I value most in my friends is loyalty.

Liberalism is a religion. Its tenets cannot be proved, its capacity for waste and destruction demonstrated. But it affords a feeling of spiritual rectitude at little or no cost.

I hate the computer. I hate their spell-check. I won't ever do e-mail.

Almost all movie scripts contain material that cannot be filmed.

If You can't tell it to me in one sentence, they can't put it in TV Guide.

I've been alienating my public since I was 20 years old. When 'American Buffalo' came out on Broadway, people would storm out and say, 'How dare he use that kind of language!' Of course I'm alienating the public! That's what they pay me for.

It's hard to write a good plot, it's very hard.