As you all know first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.

People may or may not say what they mean... but they always say something designed to get what they want.

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

Always do things the least interesting way, the most blunt way, and you make a better movie. This is my experience.

If you find that a point cannot be made without narration, it is virtually certain that the point is unimportant to the story (which is to say, to the audience).

Invent nothing, deny nothing, speak up, stand up, stay out of school.

The terror and beauty of the dream come from the connection of previously unrelated mundanities of life.