Probably in a parallel universe not far from here, I'm working for Nintendo.

Mother used to say escape is never further than the nearest book. Well, Mumsy, no, not really. Your beloved large-print sagas of rags, riches, and heartbreak were no camouflage against the miseries trained on you by the tennis ball launcher of life, were they? But, yes, Mum, there again, you have a point. Books don’t offer real escape, but they can stop a mind scratching itself raw.

If your words're true, they're armed.

I rarely ever put my head above the rampart and see where this big lumbering behemoth called 'global literature' is going.

So little is actually worthy of belief or disbelief. Better to strive to coexist than seek to disapprove . . .

Two people who are a little bit deluded in each other's favour. That's what love is, isn't it?

We are both busy people, so let's cut the small talk.