Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.

I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.

I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone.

People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.

I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.

Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is sure to follow. The guests will repeat themselves one too many times, or you'll run out of dope or liquor and realize that it was all you ever had in common.

Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.