If someone wrote it and it had a peculiar twist, I've read it.

I'm alive but I have no life. I'm alive but also dead. I'm dead and alive.

we must seize life because we never know how much of it remains for us, that faith is the antidote to despair and that laughter is the music of faith.

Given my heritage and the ordeal of my childhood, I sometimes wonder why I myself am not insane. Maybe I am.

Rub-a-dub-dub. Cerebrum in a tub.

I have avoided becoming stale by putting a little water on the plate, lying on the plate, and having myself refreshed in a toaster oven for 23 minutes once every month.

Please, don't torture me with cliches. If you're going to try to intimidate me, have the courtesy to go away for a while, acquire a better education, improve your vocabulary, and come back with some fresh metaphors.