If fate is a shape-shifter, then loves is too. It can be, anyway, in its most dangerous form. It´s your best day and then your worst. It´s your most hope and then you most despair. Lightness, darkness, it can swing between extremes at lightning speed- a boat upon the water on the most dangerous day, and then the clouds crawl in and the sky turns black and the sea rages and the boat is lost.

Being needed was a handy trick. It could fill you up so full you never even noticed all the places that were empty.

Maybe some people just had trouble with forever.

I began to learn the importance of lifting things up and looking underneath.

Look right at it. Know you can." Dad said. "Look right at that fear. Fear is the biggest bullshitter.

No, Mom. I said fine." "It's just your tone." Ah, yes- the tone. The nasty traitor.

Family was even a bigger word than I imagined, wide and without limitations, if you allowed it, defying easy definition. You had family that was supposed to be family and wasn't, family that wasn't family but was, halves becoming whole, wholes splitting into two; it was possible to lack whole, honest love and connection from family in lead roles, yet to be filled to abundance by the unexpected supporting players.