in the family I grew up in, being called boring was like being called an ax murderer.

Preparing for the worst is an activity I have taken up since I turned thirty-five, and the worst actually began to happen.

Children are a house's enemy. They don't mean to be - they just can't help it. It's their enthusiasm, their energy, their naturally destructive tendencies.

There is something fantastic about getting divorced. Everyone should do it to experience the extraordinary sense of freedom after being in marriage jail.

As complicated as joint custody is, it allows the delicious contradiction of having children and maintaining the intimacy of life-before-kid s.

In your standard-issue family, of which few remain, but on which our expectations are still based, there are parents and there are children. The way you know which are which, aside from certain size and age differences and despite any behavior similarities, is that the parents are the bossy ones.

As for superpower: I wish I could eat a million pastries and not gain weight. I wish I were Pastry Woman.