If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't Oh, and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up.
Derek LandyA living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?
Derek Landy"Found something?"..."No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uhโฆ more floor."
Derek LandyThis is your one chance. Tell me where the key is." "Okay." Serpine raised an eyebrow. "Really?" "No, only joking. Do your worst.
Derek LandyValkyrie dialed Skulduggery's number and he picked up. 'Hey,' she said, 'It's me.' Skulduggery paused. 'No it's not. If it were me, then I'd be talking to myself, and I don't do that any more. I certainly don't RING myself. That's one of the first signs of madness, and if it's not, it should be.' She sighed. 'Are you finished talking nonsense?' 'I haven't talked nonsense all morning. I miss it.
Derek LandyHow have you been? Youโre still as beautiful as ever.โ โAs are you, my dear. I love your shoes.โ โArenโt they delightful? I saw them and just had to have them. Their previous owner wasnโt too keen to let them go, but I can be very persuasive when I want to be.โ โIs that her blood on the left one?โ โAnd no amount of scrubbing will get it out, either.
Derek Landy