The roots of our Soccer Tribe lie deep in our primeval past.

There are one hundred and ninety-three living species of monkeys and apes. One hundred and ninety-two of them are covered with hair. The exception is a naked ape self-named Homo sapiens. The zoologist now has to start making comparisons. Where else is nudity at a premium.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

Monks, nuns, long-term spinsters and bachelors and permanent homosexuals are all, in a reproductive sense, aberrant. Society has bred them, but they have failed to return the compliment.

We may prefer to think of ourselves as fallen angels, but in reality we are rising apes.

As long as the human race is able to concern itself with more than mere survival, soccer will have its place.

It is interesting that amongst children of preschool age, the more intelligent ones tend to sleep less than the dull ones. After the age of seven this relationship is reversed, the more intelligent schoolchildren sleeping more than the dull ones.