Speaking of Twitter, I don't even know if I composed a blog entry in 2009, as I was too busy parceling my every thought into cute 140-character sound bites. I used to only worry about being pithy for a living; now some of my best lines are wasted on a free app!

Vodka Redbull: Upper meets downer in an effervescent hybrid of bubble gum and junkie piss

Juno: Honest to blog?

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

You hear the term "staying grounded" a lot when you're coming up in the movie industry and it's the one word I don't really understand because it implies being tethered almost and I don't like that. Why stay grounded? You might as well become a complete eccentric, float off into the sky and burn yourself on the sun and go crazy.

There's something about a roller coaster that triggers strong feelings, maybe because most of us associate them with childhood. They're inherently cinematic; the very shape of a coaster, all hills and valleys and sickening helices, evokes a human emotional response.

Above the stage was a glass-floored second stage, which allowed customers to look up and watch another girl dancing overhead. This multidimensional display of poontang reminded me of the 3-D chessboard on Star Trek, which in turn reminded me that I was a huge nerd.