The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it.

At least if we don't close down the Environmental Protection Agency, we at least put a snaffle bit on them and ride the pony down.

Virtually all bad ideas come from universities, bad ideas that only survive when insulated from reality.

You cannot get ahead while you are getting even.

I would be looking up from a pool of blood and hearing my wife ask 'How do I reload this thing'.

Conservatives have a deeper intellect and tend to have occupations of the brain in fields like engineering, science, and economics. Liberals, on the other hand, tend to flock to occupations of the heart.

The average family pays more in taxes than it spends on food, clothing, and shelter combined.