I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.
Dick Van DykeI've won several Emmys, a Tony and a Grammy so maybe somebody will let me have an Oscar, and then I'll have a full set.
Dick Van DykeSome people never change their mind through their whole lives, about anything, despite new information that comes in. And now that we know that homosexuality is not a choice, it's biological, I think we have to love and understand them.
Dick Van DykeI was lucky to get the kinds of parts I wanted. I always said I didn't want to do anything my kids can't see.
Dick Van DykeOnly funny line I've had was my first day on the set of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They were making me up, and I saw the director call the makeup man over, and he says "What are we going to do about the hooter?" And the makeup guy said, "I'm not a plastic surgeon." So I started that show with a big nose, and quite conscious of it.
Dick Van Dyke