But sometimes, unexpectedly, grief pounded over me in waves that left me gasping; and when the waves washed back, I found myself looking out over a brackish wreck which was illumined in a light so lucid, so heartsick and empty, that I could hardly remember that the world had ever been anything but dead.
Donna TarttStill when I lost her, I lost sight of any landmark that might have led me someplace happier, to some more populated or congenial life.
Donna Tartt