I often think when a man's once past a certain age, the older he grows the tougher he gets, and women the same or more so.

Britain possesses no climate, only weather.

It's disquieting to reflect that one's dreams never symbolize one's real wishes, but always something Much Worse... If I really wanted to be passionately embraced by Peter, I should dream of dentists or gardening. I wonder what unspeakable depths of awfulness can only be expressed by the polite symbol of Peter's embraces?

Heroics that don't come off are the very essence of burlesque.

The education that we have so far succeeded in giving to the bulk of our citizens has produced a generation of mental slatterns.

Birth is beastly - and death - and digestion, if it comes to that. Sometimes when I think of what's happening inside me to a beautiful suprème de sole, with the caviare in boats, and the croûtons and the jolly little twists of potato and all the gadgets - I could cry. But there it is, don't you know.

If it were not for the war, this war would suit me down to the ground.