Do remember: your sexiness is about how you feel, not how you look.

The cultural ban on having sex with your friends is an inevitable offshoot of a societal belief that the only acceptable reason to have sex is to lead to a monogamous marriagelike relationship.

It is cruel and insensitive to interpret an affair as a symptom of sickness in the relationship, as it leaves the 'cheated-on' partner - who may already be feeling insecure - to wonder what is wrong with him Many people have sex outside their primary relationships for reasons that have nothing to do with any inadequacy in their partner or in the relationship.

Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability Nothing deepens intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff.

Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.

One remedy for the fear of not being loved is to remember how good it feels to love someone. If you're feeling unloved and you want to feel better, go love someone, and see what happens.

Increasing your repertoire has the advantage that you don't have to give up enjoying what you already like: it is always easier to add new behaviors than to deny your deepest desires.