One remedy for the fear of not being loved is to remember how good it feels to love someone. If you're feeling unloved and you want to feel better, go love someone, and see what happens.

Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.

Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability Nothing deepens intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff.

The cultural ban on having sex with your friends is an inevitable offshoot of a societal belief that the only acceptable reason to have sex is to lead to a monogamous marriagelike relationship.

We believe that every relationship is unique unto itself, and thus even an attempt to think in types and forms is not going to express the essential truths of what happens when we love people.

The real test of love is when a person—including you—can know your weaknesses, your stupidities and your smallnesses, and still love you.

Increasing your repertoire has the advantage that you don't have to give up enjoying what you already like: it is always easier to add new behaviors than to deny your deepest desires.