My favorite thing about being a mom is just what a better person it makes you on a daily basis.

Apparently vodka helps flowers last longer when they're dying. But you can put vodka in anything and it'll make it better.

I don't want to be stinky poo poo girl, I want to be happy flower child.

I love jokes, but God, jokes can go so wrong. I have stayed up many nights thinking, "F**k. I can't believe I made that silly little joke. That was a disaster."

You can't live your life blaming your failures on your parents and what they did or didn't do for you. You're dealt the cards that you're dealt. I realised it was a waste of time to be angry at my parents and feel sorry for myself.

Life is not about focusing on the obstacles. It's about how you handle them, and whether you get enlightenment or levity from the way you do it

You have to fight unhappiness like a dragon with fire and breathe.