One can make a joke, but one can't be one.

Wine has lit up for me the pages of literature, and revealed in life romance lurking in the commonplace.

Wine has been to me a firm friend and wise counselor. Often...wine has shown me matters in their true perspective, and has, as though by the touch of a magic wand, reduced great disasters to small inconveniences.

One can make a joke, but one can't be one.

I don't like men who live, by choice, out of their own country. I don't like interior decorators. I don't like Germans. I don't like buggers and I don't like Christian Scientists.

Wine has made me bold, but not foolish; has induced me to say silly things, but not do them.

For the majority of English people there are only two religions, Roman Catholic, which is wrong, and the rest, which don't matter.