I'm really not big on nationalism, to be honest with you. I really don't think it gets people anywhere except near a pile of dead bodies. I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it.

I think of myself as a theatre comic instead of club comic because I tend to talk for a bit before I start being funny. I don't really do the one-liners and five second bits or whatever. But it's good to work stuff out sometimes.

We all know smoking is bad. I know I'm going to quit someday, if I thought I wasn't I'd quit now.

I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.

I'm delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There's probably a site like that for everybody. I've heard Newt Gingrich has his own as well.

I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder.

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.