I would love to go on MasterChef. But while I really like cooking, I'm doubtful anyone would ever want to pay for what I'd cooked.

I will ask every government department to draw up a plan for civil service relocation outside London. And a Labour Treasury will set an objective for savings over the course of the next decade.

I don't think I've ever sent a text to Gordon Brown because I'm confident that he would absolutely have no idea how to receive it. He barely managed to master WordPerfect 4.1.

You could get a cheer by saying: 'Let's withdraw from Afghanistan', but I don't think that's where the public's at. It wouldn't be responsible.

Saddam Hussein was a horrible man, and I am pleased he is no longer running Iraq. But the war was wrong.

What is even more worrying still is George Osborne's breathtakingly complacent response to today's figures. This is a Chancellor who is in total denial.

My mobile phone battery runs out all the time because all the messages come straight to me.