I don't think I've ever sent a text to Gordon Brown because I'm confident that he would absolutely have no idea how to receive it. He barely managed to master WordPerfect 4.1.

For the first time I'm free to be myself.

Trying to cut the deficit too far, too fast isn't working. The government must adopt a steadier, more balanced plan to get our deficit down and take immediate action now to support the economy and create jobs here in Britain.

I would love to go on MasterChef. But while I really like cooking, I'm doubtful anyone would ever want to pay for what I'd cooked.

What is even more worrying still is George Osborne's breathtakingly complacent response to today's figures. This is a Chancellor who is in total denial.

I don't think I've ever sent a text to Gordon Brown because I'm confident that he would absolutely have no idea how to receive it. He barely managed to master WordPerfect 4.1.

You could get a cheer by saying: 'Let's withdraw from Afghanistan', but I don't think that's where the public's at. It wouldn't be responsible.