When I read the pilot for Married with Children, it just reminded me of my Uncle Joe... just a self-deprecating kind of guy. Hed come home from work, and the wife would maybe say I ran over the dog this morning in the driveway. And he would say Fine, whats for dinner?

Back then I said to myself 'screw football.' Actually I just took part in this camp as there was nothing better for me to do. They also didn't draft me because they thought I was too wild and undisciplined.

That's a big deal for kids, when they come into the kitchen and the teacher is drinking coffee with mom. They react differently on the next day when you say: 'Sit down and shut-up!'

I went to Ohio University studying arts and history, and playing football. But I was only interested in girls, my pals and sports. I only did the minimum for school.

In the summer we graduated we flipped out completely, drinking beer, cruising in our cars and beating up each other. It was a crazy summer. That's when I started to be interested in girls.

I think I 'turn off' women. I've a kind of a weird personality. Women may think that I'm a mess.

Nothing burps better than bacon.