My books always make the best-seller lists in Wolf Hole, Arizona, and Hanksville, Utah.

There comes a point, in literary objectivity, when the author's self- effacement is hard to distinguish from moral cowardice.

Tofu and futons. The adepts of Orientalism seem to spend most of their lives reclining. They can't quite summon the energy to crawl up onto a chair. Even their Yogic exercises are carried out in a prone or sitting position.

Jesus don't walk on water no more; his feet leak.

Reply to Plato: I seen horses I seen cows I haint never yet seen horsiness nor that there bovinity neither.

Anton Bruckner wrote the same symphony nine times, trying to get it just right. He failed.

In the first place you can't see anything from a car; you've got to get out of the goddamned contraption and walk, better yet crawl, on hands and knees, over the sandstone and through the thornbush and cactus. When traces of blood begin to mark your trail you'll begin to see something, maybe. Probably not.