What did Jesus say to the headwaiter at the Last Supper? 'Separate checks, please.'

A rancher is a farmer who farms the public lands with a herd of four-legged lawn mowers.

A man without a horse is like a man without a weapon: stunted and naked.

New Yorkers like to boast that if you can survive in New York, you can survive anywhere. But if you can survive anywhere, why live in New York?

Walking takes longer... than any other known form of locomotion except crawling. Thus it stretches time and prolongs life. Life is already too short to waste on speed.

When the writer has done his best, he then should proceed to do his second best.

When a man must be afraid to drink freely from his country's river and streams that country is no longer fit to live in.